Beating the Summer Slump: Tips On Staying Sober During the Summer
Tomorrow is the first day of summer and this is your reminder that you do not need to drink to let go and have fun.
Many of us enjoy the warm summer months. This could look like going down the shore, on vacation, out with coworkers, or having family BBQs. If this is your first summer sober, there may be some fear bubbling to the surface. Focus on getting through this summer, one day at a time. Hopefully, these are some tips to help ease your mind during these fun-filled months.
1. Have a Plan
Being as prepared as possible will help reduce any anxiety related to wherever you are going. Create a relapse prevention plan by mapping out potential triggers and pairing them with helpful coping skills. Consider leaning on friends, people in your network, meetings, your sponsor, therapist, etc. for additional support and accountability.
2. Bring a Buddy
This is not a chaperone. Have a supportive person that you trust to come along with you to summer gatherings and activities. This can be your significant other or a friend. At the end of the day, it is nice to know we are not alone in the moment. Who doesn’t like having someone with us?
3. Have Something in Your Hand
For some, having the feel of a beverage in their hands allows them to feel more comfortable at social gatherings during the summer months. Some previous beer drinkers who would at one point in their lives had a can in their hand now prefer to just hold a cup or a cold bottle of water. This can provide some sense of partaking in these social activities without actually consuming alcohol. However, if there is something I absolutely do recommend, is to stay away from the non-alcoholic beer and ordering a fancy cocktails made “virgin” from a beach bar. I cannot tell you the number of times people have relapsed and continued to relapse because a bartender forgot to make the drink virgin. If you enjoy summer-themed drinks and are spending a day by the pool, make your own mock-tail. There are tons of refreshing recipes online!
4. Play the Tape All the Way Through
If we are putting it all out on the table and being completely honest, it is normal to have the idea pop in our head of how nice a drink may be. We romanticize drinking and remember the few times we were able to loosen up, have fun, and escape for a little bit. Instead, think about how drinking has affected your life up until this point. If you do pick up a drink, think about both the short-term and long-term effects that this one action might and will inevitably cause. The truth is this: one is too many, and a thousand is never enough. It is also helpful to envision the useful effects of not picking up a drink in this moment. The importance of this technique is to not act on impulse and instead think before we do. Ask yourself, what did like I like about drinking and how can I recreate that?
5. Don’t Stay the Whole Time
Give yourself to permission to leave if you feel like you’ve reached your maximum social fill for the day. Gage how you feel in your body, and if you’d rather just go for an hour or two, do that. If you want to stay for two days instead of four, do that. It is helpful to be self-aware of what depletes us emotionally, and what fills up our tank. If you feel the need to cut out to recharge your batteries, go ahead!
6. Call a Friend, or a Couple of Friends
When in doubt, remove yourself from the situation and phone a friend to reset. They may not pick up in the moment, so have a couple of numbers of people you can call. A craving can last for fifteen minutes. Moving your body, or picking up the phone and talking about anything will shift your focus from the initial craving. SMART recovery has helpful techniques for working through craving and urges.
7. Go to a Meeting
Sometimes, having the accountability in your head that you are going to a meeting after will help get you through whatever event you are at. Going down the shore? Some meetings even gather on the beach during the peaceful morning hours. This one hour can help set a positive tone for your upcoming day and even give you positive affirmation that you are on the right path and doing the right things.
8. Be Honest
If you feel like an event, or weekend away will be filled with heavy drinking and it will be too much to be around, be honest. Why test yourself in recovery? Why take the risk? If you are going with a spouse or family, be honest with them. It is at times like this when we need to ask for help. If you are sitting out an event, it can feel like a weakness, or we can say to ourselves that we can not avoid situations. Well, yes you do not have to avoid things forever, but it is important to be kind to yourself by saying just because it is like this right now, it does not mean that it will be like this forever.
9. Have Fun
Take a step back and define what is fun to you. What is fun to you? If your days used to be filled with drinking at the beach bar, biergartens, or other boozed-filled activities, find other things you like to do by creating new rituals. Just because we celebrated a certain way in the past, does not mean we need to continue to do so in the future. Creating new traditions gives life a breath of fresh air. If you are a parent, get your children involved in creating lasting memories. Going on a boat with family? Pack some of your favorite snacks, beverages, and something interactive like puzzles, or books for those times when you feel like being introspective. Instead of going to a vineyard, take a group cooking or painting class if that is your thing.
You did not get sober to be miserable. You got sober to enjoy your life. Summer is a great opportunity to redefine what meaningful safe fun means to you and create memories that you will actually remember.
